Mindset Matters: How to Find and Build Confidence In Yourself

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mindset-mattersRecently I posted a status update on one of my social media platforms regarding the importance of having a success mindset.  Here is the post:

“In order to have a success mindset, you need to find your passion and know yourself.
When you can do that, then suddenly everything is going to fall seamlessly into place.
You’ll find you have plenty of energy when you truly love
 whatever it is you do! #successmindset

One of my readers asked about the “how.” How to ‘find oneself’ and how to ‘understand oneself better? 

These are questions that other readers may have had but did not ask, hence my post.

There are always going to be multiple ways and answers to a question that deals with mindset or success, as there are many variables.  As a student of mindset, these are my answers limited to a post that’s will likely end up being about 1,000 words.

Mindset Matters: Mindset Defined

Mindset is a set of beliefs that you’ve acquired or cultivated consciously or unconsciously over  a period of time.  These are based on things like your values, your culture, things you were taught or told repeatedly, whether from childhood or from a later time in life, so that they become a part of who you are.

The interesting thing about mindset though, is that your beliefs can be adjusted or re-programmed. 

In her research, world-renowned psychologist at Stanford University, Carol Dweck, shows the distinction between a Fixed Mindset and a Growth MindsetHaving a growth mindset is at the core of believing in yourself.  Despite the influences of your cultural background, taking the time to understand and develop a growth mindset will allow you to recognize that you have the capacity to add to your basic abilities so that you become self-motivated and creative, bringing joy and accomplishment to yourself and those around you.


This is a good place to take out a sheet of paper and start doing some introspection and evaluation. 

  • How would you rate your confidence level on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being the lowest)?
  • How often do you find yourself criticizing yourself for something you did not do?
  • Do you believe you’re capable of doing great things and excelling, or do you believe that others are better than you and you could “never be as good as So and So?
  • Do you ever catch yourself saying to yourself, “Who am I to think I could …”?

If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, know you’re not alone.  It would be easy to say that successful people never think these negative thoughts.  I’d venture to say that no matter how successful persons are, they at times fall victim to negativity.  The difference is that they do not allow these thoughts to paralyze them into inactivity.  They keep going, and find help to work through these ‘downtimes.’

 Mindset Matters: Think Big Then Believe

What does it mean to think big then believe? Thinking big involves truly believing in yourself and that your dreams and goals are possible; they can come true. It means building your confidence so that you no longer feel that others can do it but you can’t.  This is why thinking big requires a solid foundation of belief – in you, in your dreams, and in the life that you truly want. But how can you do this successfully?

First, take a look around you. Are there people in your life who have demonstrated big thinking?  Despite the odds, they have achieved big things in their life, or they have been able to rise above circumstances that dictated otherwise and been able to succeed in one or more activities?

They are proof that thinking big and achieving big is something that can be accomplished. Those people got to where they wanted to go. If they did it, so can you.  Why not identify some of these persons and study them to see what they did? Where possible, speak with them directly. These people can provide you with a roadmap that can get you from Point A to Point B.

An Exercise to Develop a Stronger Belief System

Here’s a simple exercise that can help you develop a stronger self-belief system. At the start of every day, pick one task and decide that you’re going to think bigger about that task. This involves asking yourself how you can perform that task better. How can you achieve a better result? What are you currently doing that can be done differently?

When you take this approach to a single task, bringing all your focus and attention to it, you will find that you actually are achieving better results. This, in turn, reinforces your belief in yourself and in the process of thinking big itself.

Mindset Matters: Grow Your Confidence

Earlier in this post I asked about your confidence level.  People who succeed in life and business have another quality in common and that is confidence.  This confidence is not to be confused with arrogance and being cocky.

This confidence gives them the ability to believe in what they do, and it extends further.  It also allows them to believe they can help others achieve the same thing so that they are no long focused on just themselves; they know they can help others and even bring about a transformation in the lives of others.

An Exercise to Develop Greater Confidence

Start by asking yourself, in any new or uncomfortable situation, “What’s the worst that could happen?” Of those worst-case scenarios, resolve what you have control over, and let the rest go.

Let’s say you have an opportunity to grow your business by speaking to a small group of small business owners.  You’re afraid you’ll make mistakes and ‘make a fool of yourself.’  Practice! Practice! Practice.  In front of a mirror, in your bathroom wherever you are and ask someone you trust to listen to your presentation and critique it for you.  You may have to reach out to someone by telephone or other means of communication if there’s no one around you to support you.

Next, get inside the head of someone who is confident in what you’re about to do. Walk onto that stage as if you’ve been doing it for years, and not only will you feel more confident, but you’ll be more confident. You can use the “as if” attitude in everything from creating a new product to closing a sale. Whenever you feel your confidence failing, just remember to act as if you’ve done this successfully hundreds of times.

Mindset Matters: Conclusion

There’s a beautiful song I love by Country Singer, Charley Pride, called “Amazing Love“.  In that song he sings that he can ‘feel her smiling on the phone’.  Just as the emotions in a smile can be transmitted and picked up over the phone, your mindset, which affects your belief in yourself and how you feel about yourself, can be transmitted and picked up by others. 

Your mindset matters. There is an expression that says, “No one wants to follow a parked car.” People want to work with others who demonstrate a strong belief in themselves and are confident about what they do. When you exude confidence, others will want to follow you and work with you.

Take time to apply these strategies so you get to discover who you really are and – get to know yourself – and understand yourself better – your beliefs, motivations, and desires.

If you have questions, please email me at Yvonne @ YvonneAJones[dot]com or complete the contact form at www.YvonneAJones.com/contact-me.

Thank you for reading!



Mindset Matters: How to Find and Build Confidence In Yourself — 8 Comments

    • Yvonne A Jones on said:

      Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read and comment, Sue.

  1. I love the exercise for building a stronger belief system, Yvonne. Interestingly I’m participating in Eric Lofholm’s 2017 Midyear Sales and Marketing Plan challenge and as is expected, started to trail behind thanks to offline commitments and decided I had to complete it over the weekend. Focus is a wonderful tool for goal completion. Not only did I get the plan done yesterday but I even submitted it. 🙂

    Carnegie’s ‘what’s the worst thing that can happen’ is another favorite of mine.

    Thank you for sharing your tips with us!

    • Yvonne A Jones on said:

      Your comment is inspiring, Vatsala! You shared the results that the power of focus can create and that was impressive. Congratulaations! I missed Eric’s mid-year challenge this year. He’s one of my favorite Mentors.

      Thank you for sharing your takeaways from the post. I appreciate you.

  2. Lynanne Rockhill on said:

    Your post is a reminder how far I’ve come rebuilding my confidence; however, reprogramming my mindset is still a “work-in-progress!” 😉
    Thanks for sharing!!

    • Yvonne A Jones on said:


      I missed your comments and am so glad I’m reading them now. I am so very happy that you’ve had a confidence boost, which will empower you to surmount many challenges. Stating that your mindset is a work in progress is good, as that’s the opposite of someone who has a fixed mindset and is not willing to make changes.

  3. Interesting and important subjects you are covering in this post: mindset, self-belief, self-awareness and confidence. Thank you for the exercise to develop a stronger belief system and to develop greater confidence . I like your suggestion of “acting as if you have done it successfully hundreds of times”.

    • Yvonne A Jones on said:

      Thank you, Yudith, for visiting the blog and reading the post. It encouraging to know you received value from the post.

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